Five-O were a punk band from Sarf London that formed in 1978. They had one of the better tracks on the 1982 ‘Oi! Oi! That’s Yer Lot!’ compilation: Dr Crippens. Their singer Simon also did some poetry gigs.

We Don’t Sit Round The Fire Roasting Chestnuts Like We Used To, Do We?

We don’t sit round the fire roasting chestnuts like we used to, do we?
What? I said
Are you talking to me?

She nodded her head and went on:
Those chestnuts and fires and all those old songs
Where have all those days gone?
Where did the country go wrong?

I thought to myself
That’s just what I need
I’ve only come out to buy
the latest Cockney Rejects LP
and I’m getting her life history

I switched on her deaf aid
and said, Listen to me…
But before I could speak
her withered hand gripped my thigh
her head hit my shoulder
and she started to cry

I said, Listen luv, before you die (pause)
just think about that old fireplace
and the rotten old chestnuts
they threw in your face
Don’t you remember how you roared
“I’m not eating mine
I want the man-next-door’s”

Then you were too young to be heard
and as you grew up you were taught
not to say those words
and that’s why you feel sad
because you didn’t get anything
you should have had
And, y’know, that’s your own fault

Ah well, she said
This is my stop
I’ve gotta get off now
And off she got
And I couldn’t help notice that she had a very naughty glint in her eye

The next day I heard
that they’d knocked
on her door
You’ve got to move out
We’re sorry you’re poor
but you know the law is The Law
We know you’re not all
that quick
Here, let me help you
with your walking stick
(She motioned him to come close)

And said
“You’re always picking on young people, aren’t yer?”
And the Wak! The man in the blak mak she put on his back
And she roared just like she’d once roared before
“You can do what you like
Cos I’m on me bike”
And in the best of health she died

And millions of people read the story, shook their heads and said
And they also said
We don’t sit round the fire roasting chestnuts like we used to, do we?

Si of Five-O


One thought on “Chestnuts

  1. Pingback: The Best | standupandspit

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